Patrick Irving's Introduction

Inappropriate laughter Inanimate friends Advocate author Discrepant amends Encouraging discourse While buckling time Unique the perspective With subtle asides I’ve got a little more space to talk about me, but as a generous lover, I’d rather talk about you… Don’t worry, I won’t question your standards. Or the reasons you’re here [wink] . . . say, you wanna drink? You look like the kind of pronoun that prefers a Little Laughter . . . or perhaps a Friendly Ear . . . maybe a Lunatic on the Brink? I can tend it all. They call me The Backup. Do I come with a reference? You bet–I’d love to pretend to know you. Has it really only been a little under a minute? It feels like an eternity since you walked into my life. I don’t mean to be rude–don’t think I wasn’t listening–but a poem just wrote itself at the sound of your voice. What? Not like this–not here, I barely know you. Plus, the lights are all on, and I don’t want to see you cry. Shh. I know. I don’t want to wake up, either . . . not before this unicorn’s tandem-mounted with spurs and ridden deep into the sunset. … I know what you’re thinking and, no, I’m not a professional. I’m just a chef with the recipe for stuffing your void… Also: the creator of “Book of Irving 82431” and “First Amend This! An IDOC Newsletter.” Now stop pretending to deliberate, you’ve already made your choice.

Personal data

• Date of birth: 1979-12-31
• Marital status: single
• Ethnicity: caucasian
• Sexual orientation: heterosexual
• Gender: male
• Hometown: Boise, ID
• Expired Profile